you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Who died my cat blue again?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize