i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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