Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
