I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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