I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
