She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
