This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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