But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
