omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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