What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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