my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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