You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
