the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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