That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
