My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
