it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
After tacos, we're chasing women.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
