Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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