For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
