Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
