Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
