You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
