I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
