it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
