Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
