i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
