Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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