I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
