the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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