I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
