How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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