ya dads aren't the best wingmen
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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