Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize