just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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