covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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