Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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