This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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