Four minutes until I can fart!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
