he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
