Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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