I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
