how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
