THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
