That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
