so let's talk penis.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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