you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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