sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
