you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize