I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize