OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you will always have a special place in my vag
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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