This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
