two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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