Swine flu. Run for my life!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize