just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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