I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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