"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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