i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
