If that was your dad, he is hot
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We have started to decorate penises.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
3 2 1 whiskey
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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