I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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