i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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