you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
