isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
