Come see our sink grown plant.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
