I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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