i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
