I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
