Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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