we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
