10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
