So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
