soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
How does one acquire holy water?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
