Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just pee around me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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